Exit Memo

the deterioration of my intelligence

2006-11-22T14:24:00.000-06:00

Is this how one enters the world of the mindless? I found that more days than not, my bus reading material is the Red Eye-and I read back page to front page. I typically don't make it past the "on the scene" section, where retail experts tear apart drunk chicks and dudes party outfits. That really puts me in the mind set for a hard days work.

give you the finger

2006-11-07T13:04:00.000-06:00

Is it truly necessary to lick your finger each time you pick up a piece of paper? Does it really improve your grip on that one sheet so much that it requires more spit each time? Can you stop leafing through the files aimlessly whilst trying to look busy? It has all been tainted and I'm scared to touch anything; one big dirty finger print after another.

back on the blogger horse

2006-11-07T09:44:00.000-06:00

I've dusted off my old electricblanketstatement account. Here she goes!

A request

2006-03-02T14:33:00.000-06:00

El trains should always have heat on the morning of March 1.

ALWAYS

Temp's lament

2006-03-01T15:14:00.000-06:00

I've been trying to leave for weeks.

I've found that I don't know what most of the jobs posted online even are, and the ones I do know aren't happening.

I know all the fast food places in the vicinity of my job, and it makes me less hungry at 1pm each day.

My workstation doubles as a break room.

Insurance is a dream.

I won't be able to pay for parking soon.

Each day, an hour of my life is spent on or around subway trains with unhappy people.

My boss makes people buy her snacks as they're walking out for the day.

I am a temp.

Triumphant return!

2006-03-01T13:09:00.000-06:00

After submitting my exit memo months ago, the perma-temp has returned! Apparently I cannot escape it. Is this a dream?

my exitmemo

2005-09-22T09:12:00.000-05:00

They found someone to replace me! No more temping! Tomorrow is my last day and then the glorious world of unemployment again.

the 670 calorie snack

2005-09-21T09:38:00.000-05:00

The woman who sat down next to me on the train yesterday ate an entire package of tic-tacs on the ride home. She was a rather large lady and was stroking her stomach most of the time, but still found enough time to systematically chomp down tic tacs. Also, she smelled of cigarettes and cough drops.

This morning rotten milk breath sat next to me again. I must not choose that seat any more.

Maybe they should get together or something.

RE:FORMAT= me doing someone else's work for them

2005-09-20T11:22:00.000-05:00

An interaction between me and the Kool-aid Man:

"Can you do me a favor? Can you reformat these resumes for me?"
"Umm...Sure"
"Oh and it would be great if you could get them done by noon."
3 hours later
"How are the resumes?"
"Well the template is all wrong and these are all over 15 pages. Basically I can't do a thing with them."
"Just do the best you can. That's all we can do really. Just do the best you can."
"These aren't going to be able to work actually. There is not a way to make them fit. And the technical information is beyond my realm of knowledge."
"Just do the best you can. That's all we can do."
next day
"Are you working on them?"
"Yeah, but I have no idea when they will be done."
"Just do the best you can. I will need them later though. I talked to the guy and he really needs them."

College Degree in Paperclip Harvesting

2005-09-19T15:22:00.000-05:00

This is for the Paperclip Wranglers and the Data Entry Cowboys. Where does one use a Micro-Cinema degree these days?